It's All In A Name

One of the great privileges of parenthood is choosing a name for your child. And, it's a much harder job than I thought it would be before I had children. Like most women, I had a couple perfect names picked out, long before I was even married. However, all my favorites were vetoed by Brian and we had to start from scratch once I got pregnant for the first time. Since we have never wanted to find out the gender of our children before birth, we have had to come up with both a boy and a girl name for each pregnancy. Sometimes these names came easily, while others took months and months of vetoing and eliminations. We have never reused a name though. Each time I have gotten pregnant we have come up with new boy and girl names.

It's funny how everyone has differing opinions and criteria when choosing a name for their child. Some want very traditional names, while others lean toward very untraditional names. Some use family names, some do not. Some might insist on naming each child with the same starting letter, like say, 'M' :o). (Such is the case with my sister and her four darling 'M' girls, which causes me slight grief when I am tending them and get all sorts of tongue-tied when trying to get the attention of just one). Some pass a name along from generation to generation, while others (like myself) feel the need to break from that tradition - otherwise our first born son would have been named Michael (Brian's first given name is Michael, in case you didn't know).

For me, one of my biggest criteria in naming our children, has been that each child would have a very gender-specific name. I didn't want to use names that could be given to either a boy or a girl (not that there's anything wrong with that). Each of our children's first given name is one that Brian and I both agreed upon and has no specific meaning or family origin. Their middle names, on the other hand, do have family ties.

Ashlyn Belle - I had heard the name 'Ashlyn' a time or two and really liked it. 'Belle' comes from my maternal grandma, Juanita Belle.

Trent James - At one point while I was pregnant with Trent we were at a Bees game and I heard the name 'Trent'. I mentioned the possibility to Brian and he didn't veto it, so it stuck. 'James' is the male version of Jamie. It's common for a first born son to take on the name of his father, but I figured he was already getting the Smiley name, so why not name him after me instead? I love that he is connected to me in this way.

Luke Brian - I honestly thought I was having a girl with this one and we had a perfect name picked out: Annie Jean (Jean after Brian's paternal grandma, Wanda Jean). We had gone through dozens and dozens, maybe even a hundred, boy names and couldn't agree on a one. But, it was okay because we really thought we were having a girl. It was on the Sunday before his birth that we were talking at my parents home and admitted that we didn't have a boys name picked out. My sister Emily suggested 'Luke' and we both loved it. After his birth four days later, we decided his middle name should come from his Dad, so 'Brian' was written on the birth certificate.

Baby #4 - While I will not divulge the gender of our next child, I am going to tell you what names we have picked out. Back when we got our ultrasound, I mentioned that we almost asked to know the gender of our child because of a Christmas gift I was working on. That gift was the quilt that Mindy and I gave to my parents, featuring the initials of each family member - see why I wanted to know? I really wanted our last child to be on that quilt. Brian's solution to not finding out was to choose names that would have the same initials. We had had a hard time coming to an agreement on the names, but did finally figure it out: Cailin Ruth for a girl, and Chase Robert for a boy. It didn't matter in the end anyway, since we were accidentally told the gender, but those names still stuck. 'Ruth' comes from my mom, Marilyn Ruth, and 'Robert' comes from my Dad. Two people that I admire and respect most. This child is lucky to be named after such an amazing person...but which one is it?

hehehe.

I know, but I'm still not telling.

You'll find out soon enough.

Mi Amor

Since today is Valentine's Day, I'd like to pay a little tribute to the love of my life. Brian is my best friend and I am so happy to be married to him. We really are a great fit. Sad, though, that this is the most recent picture of us I could find -

Years and years ago (probably 5 or 6) we had a family night at my parents house and my Dad had us each list on an index card the things we were most grateful for. Then on the back we listed the things we loved most about our spouses. I have kept mine in my wallet for all these years and will, from time to time, pull it out and read it. My list still holds true six years later, although I could add more. These are the things I wrote:

1. Great with children
2. Hardworking
3. Financially wise
4. Tells me I'm beautiful
5. Sense of humor
6. Independent
7. Willing to do what I ask

I love you Brian, even more today than I did when I wrote that list.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Mysterious Infection

It all started on Sunday night. We were at my parents house, watching the the big game while the kids ran around and played. At one point, as Trent was walking down the stairs, he tripped on the second to last step and took a small tumble. He cried for a couple minutes and had a small scrap on his knee. Nothing to worry about.

About an hour or so later, Brian noticed that Trent was acting really stiff - shoulders lifted and not turning his head. Brian called Trent over and, while holding onto his shoulders, asked Trent to turn his head from one side to the other. This caused him obvious pain and he could not turn his head more than an inch each way. Brian then told me that when Trent had fallen earlier, he noticed that he had caught himself with one hand. So, we thought that maybe he had pulled a muscle. Once we got home, we gave him some medicine, hoping that he would feel better in the morning.

The next morning Trent complained that his neck hurt, but his movements seemed much better than they had been the night before. As the day wore on, Trent became more and more stiff and said he wanted more medicine. Unfortunately, we had used the last of what we had the night before. I had Trent lie down and rest for awhile and then after picking Ashlyn up from school, we headed to the grocery store. By the time we left the store, Trent was walking extremely slow with his shoulders pulled up and he wouldn't move his head at all. Once the medicine took effect, he seemed better again. Brian and I talked about taking him to get checked, but decided to wait one more day.

I gave Trent another dose of medicine first thing Tuesday morning and he seemed to be his normal, energy-filled self. I sent him off to preschool and when I went to pick him up, he looked miserable! He was taking very slow baby steps and again looked very, very stiff. His teacher was concerned about him and said that he wouldn't turn his head at all during class. When I told her what had happened, she said that one of her sons had once broken his collar bone and had had similar symptoms.

I had to carry Trent to the car and when I put him in his car seat, I noticed that he had a fever. I called Brian right away and told him what Miss Amy had said and that we needed to take him to the doctor right away. I called our pediatrician's office to ask if they had an x-ray machine, but they said no, so we decided to take him to urgent care. I picked Ashlyn up from school, got her dressed for dance, dropped her off at Mindy's, and then met up with Brian at urgent care.

Well, our theory of a pulled muscle or broken collar bone was quickly dismissed by the nurse practitioner. Trent had a temperature of 103.4 and he said Trent's glands were enlarged and that his tonsils were red and swollen. They did a strep test which came back negative. I thought that was a good thing, but the nurse practitioner said that it was bad news, that because of his symptoms it possibly meant an infection in his spinal column or meningitis. He told us we needed to go to the hospital where they could do blood work and a lumbar puncture.

As soon as I heard the word 'meningitis' my heart sank. I didn't know exactly what that meant, but remembered hearing stories of kids dying from meningitis. I called my parents to see if they could watch Luke while we went to Jordan Valley ER. Before going to the hospital, my Dad and Brian gave Trent a blessing. I had to carry Trent to and from the car because he was in such pain.

We were put in an isolation room at the hospital and waited for the doctor. When the doctor came in, he told us what the spinal tap would involve - Trent would have to be put under a fast-acting, temporary sedative with an amnestic effect so that they wouldn't have to hold him down and then he wouldn't remember a thing. The only problem with the sedative was that there was a slight chance he could stop breathing during the procedure and they would have to bag him.

The doctor suggested that they first do another strep test, just in case the urgent care test hadn't been accurate. We were really hoping that it would come back positive, but it didn't, so we had no choice but to proceed with the spinal tap. After one blown vein, the nurse took blood samples and got Trent hooked up to an IV. This was the worst part of the entire day for Trent. He cried and cried and didn't want any part of it! After the IV was in, we noticed a large wet spot under Trent's back from him sweating so much. He really had hated that part.

After Trent was hooked up, the doctor, nurse, and a medical assistant all came in. They also had to have a respiratory therapist come in to monitor his breathing. Trent was given the sedative and it was crazy how fast it took affect. He wasn't completely knocked out, and he maintained a tight grip on my hand during the procedure. I hated seeing him that way - he was there, but he wasn't and his eyes kept shifting. He also let out a loud moan when they put the needle in his back. So, so sad.

The doctor worked really fast and it was all done in less than 20 minutes. While we waited for the results to come back, we watched Trent come out of the meds. The respiratory therapist stayed in the room the longest, just to make sure his breathing was normal. While he watched Trent, he proceeded to tell us how his nephew had gotten meningitis and had lost his hearing. Great, thanks. The doctor also came back in at one point and told us a little more about meningitis, the possible side effects, and what steps would be taken next if the test came back positive. I really started worrying at this point, thinking that I was going to have to learn sign language because Trent was going to be deaf, or worse.

Luckily, and to our great relief, the tests came back negative and all the blood work was fine, except for a slightly heightened glucose level. Trent was given a popsicle and we were given the okay to leave. Before we left, they had Trent give a urinary sample and told us to follow up with our pediatrician in a couple of days.

The doctor said that he has a viral infection, they just don't know where. We are just suppose to continue giving him medicine to treat the fever and watch to make sure he doesn't get worse. Trent was all smiles as he walked out of the hospital. He'd had a popsicle and was given three sheets of stickers, and he proudly declared that he loved hospitals. Quite the change from when we had arrived.

We are extremely grateful that everything turned out okay. I still wish I knew exactly where the infection is and why Trent was in such pain, but we'll take the unknown over a meningitis diagnosis any day.

Today Trent is acting completely normal and has full mobility of his head and neck. Other than a slight fever, he is back to himself again. And now I am stuck wondering just how much that four-hour ER visit is going to cost us.

Rounds Two & Three

It's been awhile since I've done an update on my Dad. When people ask me how he's doing, my response is usually, "He's doing good. If you saw him, you wouldn't know he has cancer." And it's true. He really does look good. And he acts like his same, fun-loving, happy, positive self.

October was really a rough month for our family, but then the holidays came and I think that helped us all take our minds off it. Now, as my Mom said the other day in reference to his chemo treatments and side effects, "this is now our new normal." And it's normal to ask him how he is feeling, not just once, but two or three times during a visit. I don't think he's tired of me, yet. Actually, my Dad told me that knowing people are so concerned for him is one of the 'perks' of having cancer. See what I mean about the positive attitude?

So, after the first round of chemo, the secondary insurance that was suppose reimburse $4500 to my parents, did not follow through. After some inquiry, my Mom found out that they were not going to cover the chemo because it wasn't intravenous and therefore wasn't really considered to be true chemotherapy. Such crap.

Luckily, after a letter and an appeal to the manufacturer of the drug, my Dad was able to get a price reduction on the pricey chemo pills. They first told my parents that they made too much money to qualify for a price reduction. Really? Who can afford $4500 every six weeks? Fortunately, after my Dad sent in an appeal, they quickly changed their minds and my Dad now has a co-pay card that covers the remaining portion of chemo that the primary insurance doesn't cover.

Because of all that hassle, my Dad had to start his second round of chemo a week later than planned. And then, because of some heightened side effects, he stopped the treatment about a week early. The dosage was adjusted for round three to hopefully ease some of the side effects. He took a pill for three days and then had the fourth day off, and he repeated that schedule for the four week period. Round three ended Friday night and now we are anxiously awaiting his upcoming scan. The scan is a week from today and then he will meet with his doctor on the 21st to discuss the results. Prayers are much needed right now. We are all hoping for positive news - that the chemo treatments are working to shrink the cancer, or at the very least, that the growth has stopped.

So please, keep him in your prayers.