Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Grandma

Today was the funeral for my Grandma Lifferth. She was a remarkable woman who was loved by many. She had 13 children, 86 grandchildren, 159 great grandchildren, and 5 great-great grandchildren. That totals 263 descendants. WOW!

Grandma Lifferth died on Monday afternoon, having just turned 91 last Thursday, October 20th. She had an amazingly strong body, but suffered from Alzheimers which robbed her of her mind and personality. For the past 10 years we, her family, watched her deteriorate. And for the last few years of her life, she was unable to walk or communicate.

I've talked before about my Grandma and what an amazing person she was. She had so many Christ-like attributes and lived a life of service. She is someone I aspire to emulate, but I know that I am a long way off. She truly was an angel on this earth and now she is dwelling with the angels above. She will be missed.

I was able to visit my Grandma in the hospital on Saturday, the day before her passing. I went with my parents and we were there for probably five hours or so. At one point, around 9:00 pm (I think) the hospice nurse came in to talk to the family. By then most family members had gone and only a handful remained. It was very interesting to hear her talk about death. She said that she worked for 12 years as a nurse in the ER before becoming a hospice nurse and has seen death on both ends of the spectrum.

As an ER nurse, she saw tragic accidents and unexpected deaths and as a hospice nurse, she has seen long, drawn out illnesses and expected deaths. She then told us that if she could choose the way she will die, then she would choose cancer. Needless to say, she didn't know that somebody with terminal cancer was in the room. She said that with cancer, you know you are going to die and your family knows you are going to die. You can grieve and say your goodbyes. You can also be on painkillers and be very comfortable. With the recent news of my Dad, it wasn't something I wanted to hear, but my optimistic Dad said, "I guess that's good news for me!"

I've thought a lot about what she said. While I hate, hate, hate what is in my Dad's body, I would hate it worse if he died tomorrow in a car accident. My Dad also said earlier Saturday night that, "we are all terminal." And the hospice nurse later said, "we all have an expiration date, we just don't know when it will be." With the passing of my Grandma and with my Dad's health, I have been thinking about death a lot lately. I am realizing more and more that I need to cherish everyday that I have with my family. Life can throw a nasty curve ball at you when you least expect it and I don't want to have any regrets.

I am so grateful for the knowledge that I do have. I am so grateful for eternal families. I know that I will one day be reunited with loved ones who have passed away. The hospice nurse told us that if she had any doubt about after-life before, she is totally convinced now. She has had too many experiences working in hospice that has proven to her that there is life after this. One of the things that my Dad reminded us of on the night that we found out about his cancer, was that we are a forever family. It is a very comforting thought. I am so happy to be eternally linked to my family.

Until we meet again Grandma. I love you.

4 comments:

All About M.E.('s) said...

Yes, thank goodness for eternal families. Such a wonderful and comforting promise! Great post Jamie. :)

Amber said...

Sorry about your grandmother, sounds like she was a great woman. I know for a fact I won't have that much posterity, that is pretty amazing.
My husband's father passed away suddenly about 9 months ago and for the first couple of weeks afterward I was like I need to live each day to the fullest and cherish each moment....It's interesting how quick we forget to do that. Death is a part of life and each day is a gift. Thanks for that reminder.

Jamie said...

Love you Jame!

Zachary said...

I remember being in the room with the hospice nurse said that about her "preferred" way to die. I immediately looked at you and your parents, and saw the tears well up in your eyes.

Thank you for a beautiful post! We really have an amazing family...and a VERY high standard to live up to.

Love you Cousin!